This weekend I went to Toyohashi to get my hair cut.

Following that, Nick and I went to the beach in Tahara and explored a pirate cove.

Climbing around the area, my bag took a tumble down a cliff with Agrias and Kaito inside. Thanks to the penguin, Agrias survived without so much as a scratch, but compass #2 was not so lucky, cracking open and spilling its oily guts all over the bag’s interior. As a result, the following is blurry due to oil on Agrias’ lens.

Being unable to swim is apparently not reason enough to disqualify one from learning to surf, as surfing requires more of a familiarity with how not to drown than it does with how to flail your arms around to magically propel oneself through the water. That in mind, I learned all about how not to drown as well as how to surf (but not in that order).

The basics of surfing involve laying on a board and paddling along with a wave. At this level of competence, the thrill is in being quickly pushed to shore by a wave and is akin to, say, sledding down a very big hill. I’d imagine being able to prolong that feeling (and control the direction of one’s board while standing) is the ultimate goal of surfing, though I don’t know. All I can say for sure is that for a weekend diversion, it sure beats shuffling through a Tokyo park.

Afterwards I had this idea:

I like blowing stuff up pretty much all sorts of lots. I have a general familiarity with American explosive-things, but their Japanese counterparts are far superior. For one, you don’t have to say you’re from Fairmont, West Virginia to buy them. For another, the directions are in Japanese, so if it weren’t for the arrows, you’d have no idea if the next three seconds of your life will involve a visually exciting chemical reaction between energetically unstable compounds or the violent combustion of your face.

The nighttime is the right time for time-exposure photography.

It would probably be a lot kewler if the top were open and it wasn’t a plastic grapefruit juice bottle filled with sand.

As it turns out, this type of photography is easier than I had thought it would be. The difficult part is focusing on a subject that isn’t yet in front of the camera, then trying to write backwards in reverse, in the air, with a cellphone.

In conclusion, ocean water is salty, it burns your eyes, and it is disgusting to swallow.

_peace.

On the subway I was accosted by a Chinese man who, in his keenness to initiate conversation, became slightly carried away and forgot the cardinal rule of Japanese society: strangers must not speak to strangers.

While I have no problem with being approached by unfamiliar people, I was shocked primarily because of the absurd volume of this man’s voice, which was practically a frantic yell.

“HELLO! DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?!”
“Ah… yes?”
“WHAT’S THE MATTER? DID I SCARE YOU?!”

From Ikebukuro to Shinjuku 3-Chome, we talked about all manner of things from Chinese people to Chinese people. It became apparent that he was a little hard of hearing and really just wanted someone to talk to—especially if that person really just wanted to talk about Chinese people.

Working himself into a fervor, he offered me three points of wisdom. All began with “Chinese people have…” and ended with “[insert positive human value here].” A response involving any variation of “you’re preaching to the choir” would have invariably ruined his tirade of nationalistic and ethnic pride, so I refrained. Besides, I’ve learned not to provoke strangers on the subway.

“CHINESE PEOPLE HAVE WARM HEARTS!!”
“Yup.”
“CHINESE PEOPLE HAVE WARM HEARTS!!”
“Yah, I know.”
“WE ARE VERY NICE PEOPLE.”
“Yah. Dude. I know. Please turn off the caps lock.”

_peace.

こないだから日本語を勉強しようとするために竹下道りのマクドナルドにいく。すごく暑いでホットティーを飲んだらいいと思うから、いつもホットティーを注文する。

マクドナルドとしてはホットティーを注文するのはだいたいしにくいだ。例えば、昨夜売り場まで歩いて「ホットティーおねがいします」っていって、キャッシャーは「え？」っていった。もう一度「ホットティー」ってもうすこしちゃんとにいったけど、キャッシャーは「あ！何のチリがよろしいですか？」
「え？違うよ。ホットティー。ホ・ッ・ト・テ・ィ・ー」
「チリ？」
「ティー。」

それを言いながらメニューでホットティーを探していた。見つけたところをホットティーに指し示して、やっと分かってくれた。

問題は分からない。もちろん「ホットティー」っていうのは言いやすいでしょう。だから、誤解するのは信じられない。

今から日本語の中ではたしかに一番きらいことはマクドナルドでホットティーを注文するのです。

_peace.

English summary: I hate ordering hot tea from McDonald’s because the cashiers never understand what I’m saying, even though “hot tea” in Japanese is “hot tea.”

This morning I awoke clutching a USB cord, cellphone in lap, and with my foot in my laptop bag. But if I am to mention one considerable, non-financial benefit that is a product of dorm life, it would be the significant increase in free time. Living just ten minutes from work helps. Running around in circles nearly every night for durations previously assumed to be unachievable helps. (Apparently exercise doesn’t take time, it makes it.) But undoubtedly the most substantial source has been my unconditional abandonment of the Internet. Granted, I now have nothing to do, but being in Japan, I assume I’ll figure out how to fill the void soon enough.

Despite that, there has been an obvious lull in posting. It has undoubtedly been the result of a… uh, habitualization to Japan. As far as I know, “habitualization” is not actually a word, but I feel I deserve credit for trying, as it’s been some time since my fingers have graced Dante’s keys. Having lived in Japan two months shy of a year, I experience many things a day that, just a few months ago, would have seemed post-worthy. For awhile, Japan has been my home and not “that place I always wanted to visit.” And who wants to talk about their home?

In the interest of at least talking about something, I’m gonna talk about what I find interesting, assuming I’ll find eager support amongst readers—especially those whose eagerness for posted content is not complicated by actual familiarity with what I’ve been doing. (Which, again, isn’t really much of anything it seems.)

On that note:

How to Spot an American

A clear indication that you’ve been in Japan too long (or anywhere, I’d imagine), is that people of your own country slowly become more interesting to you than the natives who have long since ceased being a novelty.

So this one time I was waiting for a train in the subway when a group of teenagers in traditional Japanese clothing walks past. I think nothing of it and continue my attempt at reading frivolous station signage. A few minutes later, two Americans stop in front of me, and immediately I whip out Agrias and start taking pictures.

“Holy crap,” I thought, “white people!”

If you’ve ever wondered what makes Americans distinctly American, or how foreigners can always tell that you’re an American when you’re traveling, then this is for you.

1. Americans are fat.

Of course, you already know this one. This becomes increasingly obvious the longer I’m here.

What’s exceptional about American fat (as oppose to Japanese fat), is that, well, it exists, but besides that, nearly all American tourists are (compared to Japanese people) significantly overweight.

Perhaps on genetical grounds (or others) this generalization isn’t a fair comparison, and that’s all well and good, but regardless of reason or cause, the general impression of someone visiting from America is first and foremost they are very, in every conceivable way, larger than they probably should be. If you see a fat person taking pictures of something, one’s first impression is not “they must be German.”

2. Americans think they own everything.

As it turns out, we don’t.

3. Americans have no fashion sense.

Double t-shirts in summer with shorts? Baggy, urban camouflage shorts? Apparently someone is running a marathon through a Siberian urban war zone. Okay, granted, I live in Yoyogi (a rich, upscale neighborhood), work in Harajuku (an area famous for fashion), and visit Shibuya (a rich, famous area also known for fashion) nearly every week. I’m constantly subjected to a steady, continuous stream of people at the top of their fashion game. I have what you could call high standards for fashion (something that is not reflected in my wardrobe). Inject a hopelessly fashion-illiterate American into the mix every once in awhile, and they stand out so much you can’t help but take pictures of them.

So I leave you with a balance to the self-hating. Here’s how to spot a pair of jeans made in Japan:

I blocked out the vulgarities. I’ll leave it up to you to figure out what it says. The same day I saw two t-shirts with English of a considerably more vulgar nature, which I won’t repeat here.

_peace.

It recently struck me that I will have been in Japan a full year at the end of next month. This got me thinking about my financial history which I will now disclose to the general public in hopes that my experiences may help future travelers to Japan gauge their potential earnings.

My first 2 months in Japan were spent frugally (a euphemism if ever I used one). I withdrew a few thousand dollars from my savings in America just so I could afford the essentials - food, train tickets to and from work, and cell phone bills. Nova was going down he tubes so I didn’t see any money until I began working for my current employer, a privately run jyuku (cram school), who was good enough to give me a small salary advance. With each passing month that I worked for my new employer, I found different ways to save money while still living comfortably. After about 5 months I had saved over 1,000 USD.

I was so pleased with myself at that point that I decded not to save any money the following 3 months. I indulged myself in travel, food, gadgets, clothes, and accessories. Some of the more note-worthy items include but aren’t limited to:

• New hockey skates, stick, and gloves ~ $700
• PSP with a couple games ~ $400
• New digital camera with carrying bag ~ $600
• Shelving, a table, big rug, and other housing accessories ~ $100

After that 3 month splurge, 8 months after I started working for my current company if you want to keep track, I began my ALT position but continue to work for the jyuku part time subsequently resulting in a slight pay raise.

So I’ve been making slightly more lately, but having already bought so many things in my 3 month splurge, there has been little else I could justify buying, save for my surf stuff (about $700 total) and a big flat-screen monitor (about $200). Since that purchase, I haven’t bought anything significantly expensive.

In addition to the slight pay raise, around the same time I became an ALT, I also received the compensation check from the government for what Nova owed me ~ $3,400 USD. Alone, this money was enough to refill the defisit in my savings account, but I’ve already devoted that money to my Christmas plane ticket back to America (about $2,000 USD).

However, yesterday I counted all the money I had been blindly saving since I became an ALT. It just barely makes a net gain over what I lost my first few months in Japan, putting me about $1,000 USD in the black. I think this is pretty impressive considering how much money I’ve spent recently.

Now that I’ve pretty much bought all the things I want, I’m only going to spend money on travel. I’ve done some cost estimates, figured in bills, taxes, and food expenses and if I all goes according to plan, I stand to save a decent chunk of cash by the end of the school year.